Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches.

I don’t even care who sees this…
I’m so fucking sick of people just not getting it. Like I’m at such a low point of my life and no one fucking gets it. I don’t really expect them too, it would just be nice to know someone’s there for me when some of these thoughts get to much. I can’t help the fact I’m upset all the time, I can’t just ‘suck it up’ or 'be happy’ that’s the point of a mental illness. Just because I’m not ready to tell you about all these thoughts, doesn’t mean I don’t want you there. It’s not fair the way your playing mind games and ganging up on me and I know that I’m not the only one going through something bad at the minute, but I’m sick of trying to help someone so much and get shit all in return, like last time.
I’m sorry I can’t be happier, I’m sorry my stepdads cancer can’t just disappear and I’m sorry I’m such a burden. But it’s not my fault, however much I blame myself and I hate it when you chose to ignore it, like he’s suddenly gotten better. You don’t know the pain of being told that he’s better than 2 months later being told it’s reoccurred and the prognosis doesn’t look good, which puts such a strain on my family. I don’t see why you made the big speech about how you’re so hard done by when really you’re not. At this moment of time as cliche as it sounds I feel empty and as morbid as it sounds, every second that passes, is a second closer to my death.
And if you get that and care for me, then that’s great. But if you don’t, don’t set out to make my life even worse, because you don’t know that, that might be the thing to push me over the edge.
And maybe if you see this you’ll see that this isn’t me being moody, this is actually something that can become pretty shitty.

Telling someone with a mental illness to be happy is like telling someone with cancer to get better, I can’t just be happy because you want me to. I wish it were that simple, I wish I COULD just be happy.

idec anymore just going to wear my scars, it’s too hot to be hiding under layers

Getting sick of one week being really happy and the next feeling like life’s not worth it, it’s beginning to scare me